A Little Gift to Myself
Have you ever read a really boring description of something you want to buy such that it almost turns you away from your purchase? Take a look at any site on line and you will see what I mean. It doesn’t matter what the product is. As a writer, I am sensitive to the use of words and expect a good turn of phrase even in an ad. I was disappointed to see what the pros have to say about a fun and utilitarian mini kegerator (one keg volume). I was not particularly impressed. I looked online since I wanted to treat myself after my last paycheck as I was feeling rather flush. The blurb was simple enough and rather dull. I know I could have done better.
The writer went on and on about the BM23HC-B draft beer cooler with a durable forced air refrigeration unit. The mini kegerator features a 3 inch insulated tower with a dual tap, unusual in units of this size. The design allows for the intake of cold air in order to keep the beer at the proper temperature before serving. The dispenser has good mobility with 4-inch swivel casters for optimal access when inserting a new keg. The material is wear resistant (gray vinyl on steel), with a stainless top fitted with glass rails for storage. Yada yada yada. By the time I got to the 115/60/1 electrical connection with an 8 foot cord and plug set, I was asleep. I didn’t pay attention to the fact that the appliance was Energy Star Certified and UL listed, whatever that means. The warranty did impress me at two years, but the details of the conversion to a hydrocarbon refrigerant went right over my head.
Where was the fun in having a kegerator in your home? How does it help entertaining become a breeze? What kind of beer is it likely to hold given the hundreds of options available? No mention of a whole new world of experience. I would have put in more benefits of the unit and less about the features. Buyers just want to know how big it is, if it is easy to use, and how it will change your life. These things have to be discernable as you read between the lines.
I would have started out with “need a beer dispenser for your man cave that beats an ice cooler every time?” “We have everything you need at Crack a Cold One to entertain the guys in style.” “Enjoy an ice cold draft beer in the privacy of your own home.” “The exciting world of draft beer is at hand.”
I am writing a novel and hardly want to spend time writing product descriptions. There are loads of idle freelancers out there to do this. I just want to see more effort go into the blurbs to make the product more appealing. As you read, you no doubt will ask “do I want or need this item?” The words should make you say yes!